Not Saying Goodbye


I got the nicest email tonight.  It made my night if you really want to know the truth.  It gave me hope and lit up my world.  Do I dare dream of the possibilities?

There will be no drama tonight.  Put away the teenage angst and sibling drama and let's have a nice evening.  I mean this is the last night of 2020 and we've got to see it to the bitter end.

My world has been turned upside down and to tell you the truth my head won't stop spinning.  I've done some things in the past few months that I would have never done before.  I've kind of lost myself  a little - well a lot.  It's getting so I don't recognize myself anymore.

And that's the way I want to end my year?  Confused?  Lost?

Well, I'm not THAT lost, at least when I click my heels together I come back home to my steady job of being a mom.  For the time being, I still have that gig.  It's familiar and I can do it half-asleep.  Not that I'm getting any sleep.  I spend most nights alone and wide awake.

So it's New Year's Eve.  There was already teen and sibling drama but I wished it all away.  There will be no crazy in the house tonight!  I've silently weaved my spell and now hello!  The siblings are united in game playing on the new game console.  Yes there will be peace in Nintendoville tonight!

As for me, I'll be alone.  It's just been that kind of year.  

No pity party here because I've got my books and my music and perhaps even a movie.  I'll be lonely but I'll be occupied.  And, if things get weird, I can always write the great American Novel if I want a challenge.

But you know what - I got the most wonderful email that made my evening.  It filled me with light and warmth.  It gave me hope for 2021.

Happy New Year All!  And especially to that special person who knows who they are . . .  

Stay well and keep hope alive . . . 

Note:  This song means a lot of to me.  Please listen very carefully as you will find the "us" in it.